FrazzledĀ 

That’s how I feel right now. Frazzled. I’ve gone from feeling up beat and positive to let me cry and sleep for the next 2 weeks…at least. 

Nothing bad is happening but my mind is on over drive and my days are going from mediocre to horrendous. A couple of days ago I could barely function at work and when I got home I felt like I was running on empty. Toby was being a shit for a start and after I finished yelling/crying at him I had to deal with everything else. Everything else involved tidying up, cooking dinner and just getting myself in a position where I was ready for the next day. Doesn’t sound terrible at all but I was drained. I had no energy left. I nearly fell asleep at the kitchen table at 6pm! 

Thankfully I talked to my friends….they listened, they told me what I needed to do and they got me through the night. So pulled up my girl pants and got on with it. And I survived…woop!! 

I’ve felt so much better since then but I’m still not quite on track. The gym will not be seeing my face this week as I can’t even think about that right now. Last night I barely slept because I was either in the bathroom or laying in bed having minor anxiety episodes about things that aren’t even that big a deal. 

I’m a worrier. An over thinker. And a general stress head. I don’t have anything particularly massive going on right now but that doesn’t mean my mind doesn’t go into over drive at times. My parents are back next week and I can’t wait to see them. I think a lot of what’s going on with me is related to that. I know that things will get easier when they’re home but I feel like the build up is weirdly stressing me out. I can’t explain why, but it just is. 

I do have a lot to get in order for their return. Mainly cleaning šŸ™„. But why that’s stressing me out I don’t know. I’ve got a catch up with some of my girls on Saturday night and whilst in one of my anxiety episodes last night I nearly cancelled on them. But I thankfully had a change of heart today and realized a time out with friends who get me and support me is something I probably need right now. 

So anyway, I’m really trying my best to switch off from the worrying thoughts and chill out this week. I’m doing better but my annoying mind likes to make things hard for me at times. But I will persevere, fight the evil voices and find that positivity again to get me through the weekend. And then as of Tuesday I have my folks back. And I’m not ashamed to say…that even at the age of 36, I cannot bloody wait!!!! 

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