Easter blues 

Happy Easter!!! Bleurgh! 

Sorry…I really do hope you’re all having a nice start to the long weekend. I however am not. Last week I started dreading Easter weekend. I was being such a Moaning Myrtle whenever anyone asked what I was up to. Basically Easter weekend for me is generally 4 days off of being fairly miserable and Billy no mates. Now before you think I’m just being melodramatic let me try and explain…

It’s just another long weekend…right? Not that different from Christmas? Which I actually spent alone and was totally fine with. But here’s the difference… At Christmas it’s winter. There is copious amounts of TV to watch and it’s perfectly acceptable to hibernate and be a social recluse whilst cosying up with a glass of wine, comfort food and binge watching Christmas movies. 

Fast forward 4 months.. Easter weekend is generally a brighter and more sociable holiday weekend. People are out and about doing things. Going away for mini breaks. Spending time with family and friends. However, for us single folk Easter can be kinda shitty. 

I don’t have many single friends…and I have no family within a 9 hour flight away. So my options are limited. And yes I know it’s not the end of the world but all I’m saying is that it can get lonely. I think social media has a lot to do with it as if I wasn’t having to see what everyone else was up to this weekend then it wouldn’t feel that bad. But sadly….that’s just how it is. 

Anyway a friend of mine tried to help me make my dreaded 4 day weekend less crappy. We decided on all the things I could do this weekend so I wouldn’t feel such a miserable cow. Admittedly they were lone activities but they were going to keep me busy none the less. And then….the plague hit!

I wasn’t feel that great yesterday but I’ve had a fairly busy couple of weeks so put it down to that. At 4pm I turned my laptop off and then it happened. HELLO ILLNESS!!

Within an hour I was laying on the sofa. Unable to move, eat, get warm or sleep. This continued until I fell asleep at about 11.30 last night. I haven’t been this sick in ages and I felt dreadful. So suddenly my Easter weekend went from being alone to being sick and alone. 😭

This is not me wanting sympathy. It’s not a pity post. It’s just me trying to explain why sometimes when you are on your own things can kinda suck. I’ve had people try and give me advice on what to do and how to keep busy but honestly if you’ve not been here then you don’t really know. 

Not one of my most positive posts but this is what’s on my mind and that’s what my blog is meant to be about. So apologies if you think I’m just having a whinge but I’m just sharing my thoughts and feelings….

Moaning Myrtle….over and out! 

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2016

It’s been a while…I know! Life just got busy and I got lazy. Well, maybe not lazy so to speak but getting out of bed, getting to work, feeding my dog and just getting through each day doing the minimum was all I could manage to be honest. 

I used to write a lot of my posts at the end of the day when I got into bed, just before I fell asleep. But it got a point that I was so exhausted that once I’d had dinner all I  wanted was to sleep…so I did! 

I wanted to write today so I could sum up my year, think about the things that have happened, the memories I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learned. Don’t worry I won’t go through everything in tiny detail…who wants to read all that crap! But for me if I get it out in the open I can move on and start tomorrow…next year, afresh! 

The year started well…but only after a reality check from my momma bear. I got back in the gym, I started to take of myself and I tried that whole positivity thing. It worked….I was feeling really good. I caught up with friends, I went to the beautiful snowy Alps to see my best friend get married and I fell in love. 

Unfortunately that love was short lived and darkness appeared. It sounds so pathetic to admit that a broken heart made me fall apart. But hey…everyone has something. And this was mine. I felt like I was back at square one. I did stupid things, I hurt the people I loved and the self hatred was immense. 

But! Again, with the support of my amazing family and friends I picked myself up and got myself back on track. There have been wobbles along the way….there always will be but I can actually say I’m doing ok. 

I’ve had more adventures….an amazing trip to Croatia with my rice pudding, Alex. The best weekend with my girls in a gorgeous cottage in Derbyshire and the best weekend in NYC!! I literally fell in love with that city. The concrete jungle where dreams are made of 💕

I’ve had ups and down with friends. It’s been sad but the ones that matter are still around. I’ve also made new friends. In the most strangest of circumstances. But these people have made me realise that people come into your life for reasons…good or bad…there’s always a reason. My new friends have helped me on my journey….amongst the harsh realities, the cold truths and the generous hearts I am in a better place because of them. 

And so here I am. I survived a lonely Christmas, a tough year and despite the hard times I’m doing ok. Tonight I’m going to have a quiet night in with my pooch and be thankful that I’m still here to see in another new year. Happy new year everyone….hope 2017 treats you kindly xx 

Sort your shit out Shaena 

Like, what was that last blog even about?! Sorry….it was a random realization in my head that I had to write down. 

Anyways my gorgeous honey H, reminded me that I am now less then 2 weeks away from my holiday to NYC!!! I won’t lie, it’s stressing me out like nobody’s business….but I know I’ll be fine once we are there. 

It’s been a month since the cottage weekend with my beauties and honestly….I still feel pants. I have a couple of OK days and then feel wiped out again. I have no idea what’s wrong with me but I’m seriously bored of feeling this tired, exhausted and crappy all the time. And whatever it is had better jog on before I get on that plane to the big apple!!! 

I’m in a weird place right now. I’m feeling a little lost, very overwhelmed, heartbroken (still) and anxious. All these things are leaving me drained, demotivated and a bit of a social recluse! 

People tell me I’m strong, but at times like these I don’t feel it. If I could, I’d hide away under the duvet forever!!! 

So anyway…..New York, if you’re listening. Please bring me back to life….I need to be reminded that life is magical and worth getting out of bed for xx 

Eat, sleep and move ❤️

This time last week I was on holiday countdown….how can it be that it’s all over already?! Alex and I had the best time….Croatia is a beautiful place and I definitely want to go back there again! Here are just a few pictures from our trip…


So anyway….back to reality and back to work tomorrow! Oddly I’m not feeling too sad about it to be honest. As much as we didn’t want to leave I made sure that I didn’t let the post holiday blues spiral and kill my positive attitude. I was tired when I got home today but dragged my ass to FBBC this evening and got back on it!!! 

Just want to go back to this time last week again. The Tuesday before I flew out to Croatia I had a little progress review with Oli from FBBC. We had a chat about how I was getting on and discussed my goals in more depth. I know my goals are realistic and achievable because I’ve done it before but we meeded to figure out why I couldn’t make the habits stick. There were a few different reasons but the two big ones for me were balance and my mental health struggles. 

First Oli talked me through what he called the depression triangle… 


I mean it’s pretty obvious really….eat well, exercise and give your body the rest it needs by getting a decent nights sleep! When I’m in this routine if you like, everything feels good. I’m brighter, more energetic and the depression leaves me alone. However, when any of these slip for more then a few days that’s when I’m in trouble. So I need to keep on top of these 3 things which I know I can do but I have to avoid burnout. 

That brings me onto balance. The reason my healthy habits won’t stick is because I’m an all or nothing kinda girl. I’ll workout like a crazy person for weeks/months at a time but then all of a sudden it’ll stop. I get exhausted so I start with a rest day,which turns into a few rest days and then all of a sudden 2 weeks have gone by and I don’t even know where my training shoes are anymore! Same goes for food….ill be pretty strict with myself and then I’ll just binge for a week. So the routine starts to fall apart and before you know depression is knocking at my door again with its friends; self loathing, failure and what’s the point. The sleepless nights kick in and everything just falls apart. 

So how do I avoid that? Well, Oli asked how many times a week I wanted to train. I said 5….he looked at me and said “no more then 3!” I must have looked horrified because he then said…”ok then, 4″. But then he asked me to think about it on a larger scale rather then focus on a week. He suggested that I work on the basis that there are 4 weeks in a month (roughly) so multiply that by 4 sessions and you have 16. So I have to aim for 16 sessions a month but keep the routine flexible. This way if I’m too busy at work or having too much on one week I can just get a couple of sessions in. But on a quieter week I might do 5 or 6. This made much more sense to me and hopefully will help me avoid that “I messed up because I didn’t make it to Monday’s session” feeling. 

So now the holiday is out of the way it’s time to get on and smash my goals whilst hopefully remaining positive, energetic and balanced. 


So off to bed now to get at least 8 hours sleep….so I can conquer the world tomorrow 💕

HIIT, hens and holidays 

Oh my goodness…what a week!!! It’s 4.30am on a Sunday and I can’t get back to sleep. So I thought I may as well get my blog on and fill you in on the crazy week I’ve had! 

There was a lot of back and forth from Northampton. I was attending court there for work. So there were some long days….and the nature of the trial resulted in some emotional and mentally draining times. It was pretty exhausting…..

(Fell asleep again…continuing this before bed now 😂)

On Friday I was back in the office but it was still a hectic day. I had lots of little things to do and that evening I was out with the girls from work for a joint hen do. I’d organized it so was a little stressed out as most of it was a surprise but the evening went well and I think everyone had a good night. 


After brunch with my friend Natalie on Saturday I headed home and have had a pretty quiet weekend since. For some reason I’m still exhausted though…

Anyway so this was also week 1 of my 6 week fit body bootcamp challenge. Now because I was away Monday night in Northampton I was advised to start on the Wednesday. However although i didn’t start the food plan until then I still got in a mini HIIT workout in my hotel room on Monday night and I made it back in time for a bootcamp session on Tuesday! 


So how’s it going??? Well…surprisingly okay actually. I made it to 3 sessions this week and of course there was my Monday evening sweat session in my room. But I knew once my body got over the initial shock over the intense workouts that would be the easy part. What I was most worried about was the food plan. NO CARBS FOR TWO WEEKS!!!!!! 

Now obviously there was my night out on Friday. So I’ll admit I haven’t stuck to it 100% but other then that night I’ve been eating only protein, veggies and healthy fats. And I’ve actually not found it all that hard. In fact it’s been really good for me to be a little bit more inventive with my cooking and combine things I never would have before. Here are a few of the things I’ve eaten this week…. 


But I’ve still 9 more days to get through before carbs are introduced back into the food plan. Thankfully it’s the day me and my friend Alex fly to Croatia so my diet won’t be as strict while I’m away. Can we just take a moment and appreciate this view…..this is the pool at our hotel! 😍


I plan to still eat as clean as I can for the 4 days but I’m not going to beat myself up if it doesn’t happen. Our hotel has a gym so I’ll aim to get my HIIT workouts in every day so I can indulge a little and not feel guilty. 

So until then I really need to smash the next week and a half. Aiming to get to fit body bootcamp 4 times this week and then on Saturday me and my BBG midlands beauties are London bound for Kayla’s bootcamp tour!! So excited to see the girls, get another workout in and see and hopefully meet Kayla in person. 

So time for me to hit the hay….it’s way past my bedtime and I’ve another busy week ahead. Night night all xxx 

P.S this is my amazing cheat meal from Friday night 🙈

Chamwed 

Good friends. A beautiful location. And the wedding celebration of the year. Chamonix, France…an unforgettable few days away to celebrate the wedding of my best friend Alex and her beau, Jon. 

  
I’ve known Alex since my Australia days. We met when she moved into my house. We got on instantly and although we didn’t live together for very long me and Alex have remained good friends ever since. She has been my rock through some really difficult times and I consider her more then just a friend. 

   
 When Alex and Jon got engaged I was delighted for them. I had only met Jon a few times before then but I knew instantly he was perfect for her. He bought out the best in Alex and I had never seen her so happy. And something I found rare when people often meet their partners is that our friendship remained exactly the same. 

Alex has always talked about a location wedding and when she told me it was going to be in Chamonix I was so excited. I’ve never been on a snow holiday never mind to a wedding in such a fab location. I started planning straight away and got my flights and everything sorted. And of course there were endless chats with Alex about all things wedding. I think everyone wanted it to just get here fast. And last week it was finally here. 

I flew out with Alex’s mum, brother Michael and his girlfriend Lisa. It was a long journey but I knew it was going to be worth it. After a bit of an ordeal finding and getting my numerous belongings to my apartment I got a message from Alex to say they were in Monkey Bar and to head on down. So I did. And that’s where the fun began!!! 

6 days of laughing, drinking, eating with an amazing group of people. Aside from Alex’s immediate family and Jon I hadn’t met any of the other people before. But it didn’t matter. Everyone was there for the same reason and every day was spent enjoying the celebrations with a lovely group of people. Some I would now count as new friends 🙂 

   
    
 And then of course there was the wedding. Wow!!! What a day. I can’t begin to explain how beautiful it was. Everything about it was perfect and I was just so happy to be there to celebrate with Alex and Jon. Believe me these pictures do not do it justice….it was magical.

   
    
    
    
    
   
After the wedding the fun continued for a few more days but slowly people started heading home and sadly we could all feel it coming to an end. On my last day I finally made it up to the top of the mountain and shared some scary but breathe taking sights with Alex’s sister Elle. A perfect way to end my trip. 

   
    
    
    
    
 Oh and of course I have to mention the food. You know I love my food….aside from a dodgy pizza experience it was all amazing!!! 

     
    
    
 My lonely journey home was somber to say the least. I was so sad to leave and I knew that one of the best experiences of this year was over. It all went way too fast. 

Alex and Jon, thank you so much for letting me be a part of your special day and the whole #chamwed adventure. It was truly unforgettable. Congratulations Mr and Mrs Barrand 💕

  

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