Dance party πŸ™Œ

This is literally what my life is like at the moment. Dance party for one and I’m bloody loving it!! 

Don’t know why, how or what has made me feel this good but I’m not questioning it and I’m just enjoying it while it lasts! 

πŸ’ƒπŸ»

Dear Joe…

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I haven’t forgotten about you but things just got kinda busy. But in a good way so I hope you’ll forgive the delay in posting… 

If you recall my last post was all about my first day back in the world of fitness. Why I’d failed so many times before and how I was ready to start over. I failed…again! πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ As per usual I got way ahead of myself and the new regime lasted no more then a week or so….πŸ™„

So what did I do about it? Nothing. I didn’t dwell on it, I didn’t feel guilty about it, I just decided it wasn’t quite right and I just got on with things. That’s my new way of dealing with things that would have normally stressed me out or gotten me down and annoyed with myself. No more negativity over here!! πŸ‘Œ

There have been a few other things that haven’t quite gone as I’d hoped in the last few months. The house purchase being the main one. Long story short, it didn’t work out. But weirdly I wasn’t too gutted about it. Aside from the feeling of ‘it wasn’t meant to be’ I also felt a sense of relief. The whole process was so stressful and it made me realize that maybe I wasn’t quite ready to chain myself to a life of mortgage payments, house improvements and well lets be honest….not having much of a life. So for now I’m staying where I am and putting that idea on hold! 

Since then I’ve just focused on myself and doing things that make me happy. I’ve caught up with friends, spent a lot of time in the kitchen doing what I love (and feeding my coworkers πŸ˜‚) and of course there has been lots of chill time with Toby. 

There’s this one big thing that has made me really happy and has given me almost a whole new lease of life….I am no longer medicated!! πŸ™Œ It’s been over a month now since I came off my meds and I’ve never felt stronger, more motivated and positive. It’s like a cloud has been lifted and my head feels clearer and my whole body just feels lighter. 

I never imagined I’d get here….in the past when I’ve come off my meds I’ve felt uneasy and almost a little unsafe. Always waiting to fall back into a dark hole. I don’t know what’s different this time but those feelings aren’t there. I’ve accepted that I will have times when I will struggle and there will be wobbles, but for the first time in god knows how long I’m ok with that and I don’t feel the need for medical help.

As a result I’ve been doing some ‘spring’ cleaning in my life. Removing the things, people, thoughts that have been holding me back or bringing me down.

For anyone that follows me on instagram you’ll know that I’ve gone through phases where my health and fitness was such a big focus. I was following all sorts of people to help inspire, motivate and encourage me. Initially this did help but more recently the opposite was happening. Other people’s success, transformations, positivity was actually getting me down and making me feel pretty crap about myself. I wanted to be like them but didn’t know how to get there. One day something just clicked….why on earth was I trying to be like ‘them’? Surely the point was to be a better version of myself? I’ve known this all along but like so many others I got swept up in the…dare I say it…cruel world of social media. The world that is forever telling you what you should be doing, what you should be eating and how you should be feeling. Well I say bollocks to all that! This is me, like it or lump it. 

So last week I went on a culling spree…I unfollowed all the profiles that no longer inspired me, made me feel crap or no longer had a positive effect on me. And you know what? It felt bloody amazing!! And I guess over time I’ve been doing the same in my actual life as well. Figuring out what was no longer good for me and getting rid or backing away from it. And I’m going to continue to do this…if something or someone is not good for my mental state then I’m afraid it’s out! πŸ™…πŸ½

I think that’s the big thing I’ve learned…my mental wellbeing is way more important then my physical wellbeing. I’m talking about me personally. A lot of people say when they feel stressed, down or even depressed they exercise and it makes them feel better. I agree that this does work. But I think for me it’s the opposite…if I’m unhappy, struggling mentally or just in a dark place well you’ll be lucky to get me out of bed some days. So the chances of physical activity happening are slim to none. I have to get my mental state in a good place and then the rest will follow…and this week I think it finally started to happen. 

After an amazing weekend away with my girls I came home feeling motivated, in high spirits and generally more focused and happy. On Monday I had my first personal training session in well over a year….I went to a spin class on Wednesday with two of the girls from work and remembered how much I loved it. And on Friday night I swapped my evening in front of the tv with a glass of wine for a circuits class at the gym! 😊

And yes I know I’ve done this many times before and not stuck with it but this time I’m going to try my hardest not to make it a focus. I’ll do the things I enjoy, when I can. I’ll experiment in the kitchen with more healthy foods but I won’t cut out the things I love…(totally went to Maccy’s drive thru yesterday! 😜). Basically, I will do what’s right for me at the time. I just set myself up for failure by setting goals because I become too focused or obsessed and inevitably when I fail I get depressed and I’m back at square one!

So….a little late for my new year, new start. But who cares! I’m here now and this is how I’m hoping to see the rest of the year out… 

1. Do what I want, when I want and how I want… 

2. If I’m not happy, review what I’m doing currently and then refer back to number 1! 

3. Be me! 

😘

Ps some photos (mainly Toby and food!) of the last few months…. πŸ˜‚

Oh and for everyone wondering who the hell Joe is….apparently he’s my number 1 blog fan! πŸ˜‚

Day one…Β 

So I did it!!! I finally came home, fed Toby,  dug deep into my wardrobe and found my workout clothes. I put them on…ignored the fact I was bulging out of them and I, me, Shaena…..I worked out!!! πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

Yes, you read that right. I got out my yoga mat, I busted some moves, I worked up a sweat and you know what? It felt bloody amazing!! I mean, it’s gonna hurt tomorrow…majorly! But I got it done…as pathetic as it was and I’m proud of myself! 

In 2 weeks I start a new 12 week program. If you’ve read any of my previous posts about fitness you’ll know that a couple of years ago I started Kayla Itsines’ Bikini Body Guide. I never ever made it through the 12 weeks, and although I’ve seen that it can be a fab program for a lot of people it just wasn’t for me. So I saw that Sinead Disaya (pro Aussie tennis player and personal trainer) was offering her 12-24 week fitness guide on instagram for free for a short time. I of course I got right in there and grabbed the offer. I mean, who doesn’t love a freebie?! But I checked out her workout style and it seemed to be more of my kind of thing! So 30th Jan the 12 weeks Sweat Believe Roar challenge starts and in an effort to not die in week 1, I thought I’d better ease myself back into this whole fitness thing again. 

So I found this app on instagram that has yoga workouts for fat loss and fitness. I took a look and I liked it so that’s what I tried out today. They have lots of free workouts in different styles and for different lengths of time depending on what you feel like doing on the day. So today I did the fat burner without. Holy hell….it was only 14mins but it was a killer. Who knew that yoga could make you sweat like that?!! πŸ’¦

I was meant to hit the cross trainer afterwards but I could barely manage 10 minutes! Oh well….I didn’t kick myself for it, I just focused on what I had done and was proud that I didn’t just come home from work and collapse on the couch! 

So this was day one of my fresh start. It’s taken more then a few steps to get here but I’m here none the less and it feels good πŸ‘Œ

Pause. Regroup. Restart.Β 

I had a meltdown a few weeks back. I don’t really know why. It just happened. I got back from the gym one night and just couldn’t stop crying. I think a lot of it was over tiredness but I’d had an emotional week at work as well and loads of other things going on. Everything just got too much and I broke. 

Since then I’ve just been taking each day as it comes. I stopped the gym. For a while I was disappointed with myself, but then I realised I was doing the right thing for me. My head wasn’t in the right place at the time. I needed to cut back…on everything. So I kept it simple. I got up, I went to work, I came home, ate dinner and then I went to bed. It’s all I could cope with. 

There’s been a lot of Netflix as I mentioned in my last post. If anyone wants any documentary recommendations just let me know….I’ve gotten through so many. But there’s also been a lot of contemplating. Thinking about my life and where I am. 

Firstly I’m over weight…again! I saw it happening but I wasn’t in the right headspace to do anything about it. My focus was just to get through each day. The absence of exercise coupled with eating crap has taken it toll and this morning after changing my outfit 5 times I knew that enough was enough. 

Add to that my relapse with the blue eyed boy. I let him get to me again and inevitably, hurt me again. 

These things, little as they may seem, when piled on me together, leave me feeling hopeless, worthless and well….just a bit shitty. I’ve had my meds increased again which sometimes makes me feel like I’m failing. Stupid really because if you go to the doctor because your back pain has gotten worse you wouldn’t think twice of upping your pain meds. So that’s what I’m doing….trying to eleviate the ‘pain’. 

I’ve got a busy few days ahead as of tomorrow. Family wedding and a trip to Manchester to see two of my fave northern birds. But once the weekend is over the focus is back on me. 

I need to start eating better, I need to get some sort of exercise back in my life and I just need to start looking after number one. And I’ve decided that I’m not going to use social media as a help guide anymore. What was once motivation for me is now becoming destructive. I see where others are and compare myself. Why am I still single, why can’t I get fit and healthy, why did I only get 5 likes for that post, why is everyone happier and better then me?! It’s ridiculous now I’ve said it but that’s what goes through my mind way too often. So from now on I will only follow and take in the people that fill me with love, support and positivity. 

It’s time to get my head together. It’s time to focus on what’s important. And it’s time to restart. 

A 6 week fling or a lifetime commitment?Β 

This weekend marks the end of my Fit Body Bootcamp 6 week challenge. Now admittedly when I decided to do this challenge I thought at the end of the 6 weeks I’d look in the mirror and be like “wow Shaena! You look amazing!”. Ok so that might not have happened but here are the things I’ve learned and the changes I have noticed… 

Mood and motivation 

When I started out I was still crawling out of a very dark place. My confidence was in shattered and I was not a happy bunny. As we are told over and over exercise helps release endorphins in us, lifting our mood and making us feel a lot brighter. I’ve always known this to be true but sometimes breaking out of that viscous depression cycle can be hard. When you are down your energy levels are low, your motivation is non existent and you generally just don’t want to make the effort to do anything. That’s where I was and I needed to snap out of it. Thanks to a little push from my friend Becca I signed up for my free 3 day trial with FBBC and enjoyed the sessions so much I embarked on the 6 week program. 

So have those endorphins worked their magic? Yes they have…aside from the odd down day I’ve generally felt more up beat, have more life in me and my motivation to get things done has improved not only in relation to my health and fitness but also at work. I’ve even had people comment on how much more up beat and positive I am. And on those down days I make sure to choose the dumb bells over the duvet! 

Strong not skinny

The most obvious physical change I’ve noticed in myself has been my strength. When I started out with FBBC I was back to doing push ups on my knees, the thought of just one burpee would fill me with dread and commandos….hahaha…what a joke! 

But less then 6 weeks later I’m back doing push ups on my toes (not all, but as many as I can), burpees are slow but the fear has gone and I can actually do commandos!! I’m so proud of myself for making such good progress in quite a short amount of time. I knew it was possible because I’ve done it before, but I guess with me it’s about having someone to push me and tell me that I can do it as I often give into those negative thoughts that tell me otherwise.

Balance 

Round about week 4 of the challenge I started to slip a little….or so I thought. I was still getting my workouts in but I wasn’t quite sticking to the food plan. I was still around 80% on track but I my food portions were a little off and I gave into the odd treat. But rather then feel like I failed I looked at things differently. 

For me, I didn’t want the 6 week challenge to be….well, just that I suppose. I wanted it to be something more. I wanted it to be the start of a new habit. Something that would last longer then 6 weeks…something that I would stay committed too. So the slip ups, days off, cheat meals I decided not to see them that way. Instead I decided that I would call it balance. 

Each time I embark on a new health and fitness journey, I go all or nothing. I’ve mentioned this before. I struggle to find the balance and because of that I end up getting tired, bored or I burn myself out. So to avoid the rest days that turn into rest weeks and the “fuck it” food moments that spiral out of control I will allow myself the time and space to breathe and once in a while let myself be only 80% perfect! 

Mindset 

I don’t think I need to say much about my mindset. I think everything I’ve said so far is proof enough that my mindset is where it needs to be.

Support

The most important thing I’ve learned over the last 6 weeks is that I don’t just want this to be a phase. I want this to be a permanent lifestyle change. In order to do that I don’t think I’m ready to go it alone just yet. I still need more guidance, structure and basically someone to kick my ass when I’m not sticking with the program so to speak. So I’m staying with the FBBC family for a little longer. They’ve been amazing. From Oli’s motivational emails and additional workout options, to the ever supportive ladies in the Facebook group and of course our trainers…Callam, Craig and Adam. You guys have been awesome. I may have wanted to cry at times but you guys have pushed me and made me realise I can always do just one more rep! 

So what’s next?

THE GAME CHANGER!! 

Food fails!Β 

As I come to the end of week 4 of the fit body bootcamp challenge, I’m a little disappointed in myself. I’ve stuck to the workouts….got 3 HIIT sessions in this week and a decent 45min LISS workout as well. But some naughty food habits have crept back in πŸ˜• 

I started the week off well with all my meals prepared according to the plan. But I think I got to about Wednesday and started letting the odd treat slip in. Then on Thursday and Friday I’m pretty sure my evening meal portions were too large as I definitely felt i’d over eaten. Then yesterday I met friends for a late lunch and ate this….. 


Oh and there was wine last night….Woops! πŸ™ˆ

So what now??? Well I’m not going to cry about it or beat myself up. Even with me going slightly off track I reckon I still stuck to the food plan 70% of the week. And that burger was bloody amazing so no regrets there πŸ˜‚

But I know this sort of behavior is only going to slow down my progress and prevent me from achieving my goals so I need to sort my shit out!! 

So this week I’m getting back on it! I’m going to make sure I fill my food grids in, im going plan my meals a little better and I’m going to keep reminding myself why I started this journey in the first place! 

The road to your dreams is never straightforward and perfect. There are bumps, road blocks and sometimes even massive gaping holes, the important thing is how you get passed these and keep going. So with that I’m going to get my lazy ass out of bed and smash out this Sunday morning booty session and get back on track!! 


Happy Sunday folks xx 

Eat, sleep and move β€οΈ

This time last week I was on holiday countdown….how can it be that it’s all over already?! Alex and I had the best time….Croatia is a beautiful place and I definitely want to go back there again! Here are just a few pictures from our trip…


So anyway….back to reality and back to work tomorrow! Oddly I’m not feeling too sad about it to be honest. As much as we didn’t want to leave I made sure that I didn’t let the post holiday blues spiral and kill my positive attitude. I was tired when I got home today but dragged my ass to FBBC this evening and got back on it!!! 

Just want to go back to this time last week again. The Tuesday before I flew out to Croatia I had a little progress review with Oli from FBBC. We had a chat about how I was getting on and discussed my goals in more depth. I know my goals are realistic and achievable because I’ve done it before but we meeded to figure out why I couldn’t make the habits stick. There were a few different reasons but the two big ones for me were balance and my mental health struggles. 

First Oli talked me through what he called the depression triangle… 


I mean it’s pretty obvious really….eat well, exercise and give your body the rest it needs by getting a decent nights sleep! When I’m in this routine if you like, everything feels good. I’m brighter, more energetic and the depression leaves me alone. However, when any of these slip for more then a few days that’s when I’m in trouble. So I need to keep on top of these 3 things which I know I can do but I have to avoid burnout. 

That brings me onto balance. The reason my healthy habits won’t stick is because I’m an all or nothing kinda girl. I’ll workout like a crazy person for weeks/months at a time but then all of a sudden it’ll stop. I get exhausted so I start with a rest day,which turns into a few rest days and then all of a sudden 2 weeks have gone by and I don’t even know where my training shoes are anymore! Same goes for food….ill be pretty strict with myself and then I’ll just binge for a week. So the routine starts to fall apart and before you know depression is knocking at my door again with its friends; self loathing, failure and what’s the point. The sleepless nights kick in and everything just falls apart. 

So how do I avoid that? Well, Oli asked how many times a week I wanted to train. I said 5….he looked at me and said “no more then 3!” I must have looked horrified because he then said…”ok then, 4″. But then he asked me to think about it on a larger scale rather then focus on a week. He suggested that I work on the basis that there are 4 weeks in a month (roughly) so multiply that by 4 sessions and you have 16. So I have to aim for 16 sessions a month but keep the routine flexible. This way if I’m too busy at work or having too much on one week I can just get a couple of sessions in. But on a quieter week I might do 5 or 6. This made much more sense to me and hopefully will help me avoid that “I messed up because I didn’t make it to Monday’s session” feeling. 

So now the holiday is out of the way it’s time to get on and smash my goals whilst hopefully remaining positive, energetic and balanced. 


So off to bed now to get at least 8 hours sleep….so I can conquer the world tomorrow πŸ’•

Fit body bootcamp

Two weeks ago I got my ‘ready to fight’ attitude back. I was all raring to go with the gym, healthy eating and no more negativity. I started well. I signed up to some free trials of Fit Body Bootcamp’s HIIT circuit training sessions.


I found them on Facebook after seeing an advert for a 6 week transformation program. Now even I know 6 weeks is not long enough to drop the weight, get fit and tone up but it’d be a damn good start. So I gave a few of their sessions ago and really enjoyed them. 

The sessions are 30 minutes of high intensity style exercises. Mostly body weight exercises like burpees, push ups, squats, lunges etc. So very much what I’m used to after doing BBG. You do each exercise flat out for 30 seconds or a minute and take a short 5-10 second rest inbetween. Half an hour seems like nothing but believe me it’s one hell of a sweat session and it’s designed to get your body burning calories even after your done with the workout. The set up is basic but works. No fancy gym equipment other then some weights, battle ropes and some TRX bands. The groups are small and the trainers push you and make you work hard. I knew after a couple of sessions this was for me! 


So I decided to sign up to the next 6 week challenge which starts tomorrow! I’ll write more about it as the weeks go on but in a nutshell it’s 6 weeks of as many boot camp sessions you can do (I’m going to aim for 4-5 a week), a simple and effective food plan and trainers keep you on track and answer all your questions in the sessions and via a private Facebook group. 

As I had a week between my free sessions and the 6 week program starting up, I decided last week i’d just hit the gym to keep me ticking over until tomorrow. Unfortunately after a very fun bank holiday weekend with friends I had a car accident which left me quite sore and not feeling too great. I wasn’t badly hurt and the car can be fixed but it’s been a pain trying to get it sorted and to have to put the gym on hold. Oh and by the way….it wasn’t even my fault!!!! 

Anyway what’s done is done and I need to look to tomorrow and focus on the next step. This morning we had our induction to the 6 week program. I met the other ladies and the trainer, Oli (he also runs fit body bootcamp) and we had a good old chat about mindset. This has always been a big thing for me, mainly the reason I fail so often and have to keep restarting. Oli really made us think about the importance of mindset and how it can have a negative and positive impact on your fitness journey. In order to succeed I need to change my thinking and get rid of as much negativity as I can. My depression will not help me there but I’m hoping that by getting back into a good routine the endorphins and energy boost will help keep those negative thoughts at bay. It’s about breaking the cycle for me…I’ve done it before so I know I can do it again. 


After the induction I went and met my fitness friend Becca who I met through Instagram earlier this year. She joined me for the free bootcamp sessions last week. I’ve appointed her as chief motivator to keep me on track. She works her ass off at home and in the gym, sometimes twice a day. The progress she has made is amazing and she is a massive inspiration to me. Anyway we went for a lovely walk around a local park that until today never knew even existed lol! The sun was shining, we talked about all things fitness and we got a bit of a sweat on! It was lovely and we said we would try to make it a weekly event. 


Now although the 6 week program kicks off tomorrow, I’m away for a couple of days for work so they’ve suggested I start on Wednesday. However, I still intend to hit the hotel gym tomorrow and start the clean eating where possible. I’m generally ok with eating healthy when I need to but, for the first two weeks of this program carbs are banned. I am a little worried about that as my inner carb whore will no doubt struggle. But I want results so I need to do what is required. Like I said though, I officially start Wednesday so I’ll do what I can over the next two days but I won’t give myself a hard time if the odd potato ends up on my plate! 

Time for me to get some sleep now. I’ve an early start tomorrow and a busy week ahead!! 

Oh em gee! (Part 2)

This weekend has been absolutely crazy! I feel like I’ve not stopped yet, I also don’t feel like I’ve anything to show for how exhausted I feel right now… 

I’m in bed as I write this post watching the clock get further away from what I like to call bed time. But I promised you some more oh my glow detox deets so here they are… 

Ok, so the other 5 gorgeous ingredients that make up the blend are… 

   
    
   
Again you can see each one has some amazing benefits. For me anything that helps with digestion I’ll quite happily grab on to! I’ve had tummy issues for years now and tying to keep those troubles at bay can be difficult so knowing I’m giving my tummy a helping hand to stay happy and content is a bonus. And who doesn’t want clearer skin, more energy and a little help to keep those extra lbs off the hips?!! I know I do!! 

  

So there you have it. 

10 ingredients

 2 teaspoons. 

1 dose a day. 

And this is what you get….

  
Today I was rushing around and in and out the house quite a bit so didn’t have much time to use my detox powder in anything exciting. So, rather then miss out I just mixed it up in about 200ml of water and downed like a boss! Think of it as a shot of healthy goodness…that actually tasted pretty ok. Like a fruit juice almost! On the up coming weeks I’ll be posting more recipes and stuff you can use your powder in and let you know how I’m feeling during my omgdetox experience so check out my posts @shaenas_stuff πŸ‘

Ok I really do need to sleep now. I have body pump at 7am so this boss babe needs her beauty sleep! 😘

Ps don’t forget, order at omgdetox.com and use my 10% discount code – omgshaena10 xxx 

Oh Em Gee!Β 

Superfoods. When it comes to a healthy lifestyle and clean eating, people are all about the superfoods these days. Everyone is trying to add them into their diets, including me. But which ones? Where do we get them from? How do we use them? What will they do for us? So many questions!!! 

Two years ago I started with chia seeds. I read about them online and in this book about the Tarahumara tribe in South America who ate chia seeds and it made them run really fast…I was into my running back then lol!! So anyway I found some in a health shop and started sprinkling them on my cereal and in soups etc. Job done! πŸ‘

But that was just one. I wanted to try more but some of the less common ones weren’t that easy to find in supermarkets and well, to be honest if you did find them they weren’t all that cheap! Fast forward 18 months and one sleepy morning as I scroll through Instagram with one eye still closed I came across this…. 

  
Oh My Glow have created this amazing blend of 10, yes 10 superfoods into an easy to use powder. It’s genius!!! The combination of these ingredients will do wonders for you. It reduces bloating, gives you energy, increases your concentration levels, will improve the condition of your skin, helps with weight loss and of course will leave you glowing ☺️

Of course I ordered it! And a few days later I got my lovely package from Natalie and the Oh My Glow team. 

  
So, what’s in it? Well here are just a few of the ingredients and their benefits. 

  
   
    
 
Look how much good stuff you get from just these 5! 

Today I tried my powder in a beetroot and apple smoothie. It was fab. The taste wasn’t affected at all, in fact it made it even nicer with all those yummy berry flavours. It tastes yum on its own too according to my mum who stuck hey finger in the powder to try it lol!!

  
All you need is 2 teaspoons a day to benefit from all the goodness these superfoods provide. 

I have a date with Kayla Itsines’ 600 rep ab challenge now but check back in tomorrow when I’ll tell you about the other ingredients and their benefits. And give you another way you can add it into your diet. 

If you want to place an order head over to omgdetox.com and be sure to use my discount code for 10% off your order – omgshaena10. 

Happy Glowing πŸ’–πŸ’•

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