LIFE

I’m in bed at the moment continuing my addiction to documentaries….for the last few weeks I’ve watched the majority of Netflix docos that have had a 4 star plus  rating. Not going to lie…I have a weird fascination when it comes to crime based docos….especially murder ones. Not because I’m a psychopath, but I’m just intrigued by the human brain and how it can work in such a way that it allows people to think it’s ok take someone else’s life. 

Yesterday was my rest day. I’ve felt a little burnt out lately…too much going on. So I told myself that Saturday was going to be my day off. A day off from everything. I woke up as normal around 7.30am….fell asleep again….then around 9.00am I was fully awake. I turned on my tv and started on my doco journey. I stayed in bed until midday…it was great. I then had breakfast, had a shower and got dressed. And then I relocated to the sofa where I continued on my journey…. 

A few of my documentary recommendations have come from my friends at work. We seem to have regular discussions on what we have watched recently and what we should add to our lists! After this weeks conversation yesterday’s delights were mainly about death row, serial killers and gangster crime! And I wonder why I’m still single……!!!! 

Amongst all this monotonous tv viewing I had some news. Some sad news about a family member. It made me think about life. My life. Life in general. Life on earth. 

This weekend I’ve learned about so many different lives. People who have suffered, people who have killed, people who have feared for their lives and people who have given up. 

Watching the programs I did this weekend touched on so many emotions. Anger, frustration, sadness….and guilt. 

The guilt is there and will always be there. Because there have been times in my life that I’ve decided I’m done. That I just can’t be bothered to fight anymore. That it’s too much for me. I’ve put my loved ones through hell in these moments. Are they moments of selfishness? I don’t know. But what I do know is that they are moments of desperation, suffocation, hopelessness and  defeat. 

I look back with regret. But I cannot say those moments and thoughts are gone forever. I’m just doing my best to build the biggest and strongest wall between me and them.

Life is unpredictable guys. Life can be short. Life can be long. But we just don’t know how the hell its going to turn out. So do the best you can, live the best life, and don’t sit in bed watching documentaries like me xxx 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow Shaena's Stuff on WordPress.com
%d bloggers like this: