Group Therapy 

Today I started a new group. Not a fitness group. Not an activity group. But a mental health group. A few years ago I never thought I’d be doing this kind of thing let alone talking about it openly.

I’m not gonna lie I had mixed feelings about it. A part of me was looking forward to talking to people who were dealing with similar stuff to me and understood where I was coming from. But at the same time I was scared of opening up to strangers and sharing my feelings. But I knew that if I didn’t try it I wouldn’t know so I gave it a go…

So I parked up and walked through a massive park to the activity centre where the group would be held. Apprehensive, nervous and terrified of being late. Funnily enough I was the first one there. As I mentioned before its a group set up by Mind, the mental health charity. The organizer of the group, Nagheena spotted me immediately and welcomed me in which was a nice relief. So I sat down in the room and waited for the others to arrive….

They came in one by one. All older then me and all female. I was the youngest in the group by far. But, it didn’t take me long to see that it didn’t matter. They were all so lovely. Some talked more then others. But most importantly I felt comfortable enough to talk about myself and my experiences.

It was a 2 hour session which sounds long but for me it wasn’t long enough. I could have stayed talking to those lovely ladies all day long. At one point during the session Nagheena asked how we were feeling. I said I was relaxed. Relaxed in the company of the people around me. But at the same time I was emotional. And I think that’s because I felt comfortable enough to show my emotions to these people. My new group. My new friends.

I think this is going to be good for me. It was a lovely experience and I’m looking forward to returning there again next week. 

Death by Lisa

Today I met up with a group of strangers, in a park and we tortured ourselves with a Kayla Itsines BBG workout in the freezing cold!! It was AWESOME!!! 🙂

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I know I’ve been on and off with the BBG program but I’ve been determined to not give up fully and these girls have been like little fitness angels encouraging and supporting me all the way. When I’m feeling rubbish they spur me on, when I’m sick or injured they tell me to rest until I’m ready to start again. Considering I’d never met some of these people until today I know I can count of them to have my back!!

BBG is tough! Like, really tough! Kayla certainly knows how to push us to our limits. Trying to juggle the program with the gym classes I love has been hard. But after seeing the amazing progress others have made I really want to get through this 12 weeks and hopefully move onto BBG2!!!! I’m never going to be skinny…I don’t want to be skinny. I love my food too much lol!!! I just want to be happy in my own skin. Confident, strong and proud! And I really thing Kayla….and these girls will get me there! 🙂

So how was today? Well first I met Lisa who has been the super efficient organiser by sorting us out with a work out plan, date and time. And she’s totally lovely!! Then one by one the girls rocked up….Ceri, Jess and Veronika….Neesha, Rosie and finally the BBG Midlands meet up instigator Laura and her friend Alessia. 🙂 🙂

With all the rain yesterday and it being still wet on ground we struggled to find a decent spot to workout. We almost destroyed the bowling green but then were told we could workout there! But once we got started it was great. We had music, a nice spot on the main path to gain a good audience (LOL!!!!) and each other!! Lisa’s choice of exercises kicked our butts but I know we all enjoyed it!! Burpees, jump lunges, push ups, jump squats and sit ups……we did the lot!!

Afterwards the comedy started…..Laura’s continuous technology fails! LOL! We spent a lot of time trying to get a decent photos!! We laughed so much!! And then it was time for the best part of the day…FOOOOOD! My friend Sarah had recommended the Plough in Harborne so I booked ahead and off we went to fill our belly’s. The food was amazing and we had lots of chats, giggles and obviously planned out next meet up!!!

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I had the best day!! So thank you girls and thank you Kayla. You have inspired me, motivated me and given me a reason to keep going with my fitness journey! As slow as it might be….its happening!!!

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Ups and downs 

I’ve been quiet. I know. Just not really felt like opening up the last few weeks. It’s not been great. I’ve had some good moments but some really flat ones too. Ups and downs….the worst thing for someone who needs to try and stay balanced.

The bad things: I’ve wanted to avoid social situations which is not like me. Even the things I normally love I’ve walked away from or been worried about. My fitness regime fell apart completely. I skipped classes, my home workouts and just generally couldn’t be bothered. And some days even getting myself out of bed was hard. I just didn’t want to try anymore. Saw my doctor today. They’ve increased my meds. I suppose this is a good thing but for me knowing I need more just makes me feel a little down. 

The good things: I met with the charity Mind. Who funnily enough I was supposed to run that half marathon for…enough said about that 😕. Anyway, they’ve told me about a couple of group therapy sessions that might be helpful for me. So next week I’ll be starting those. Looking forward to it. Knowing I’m not the only person having these thoughts and feelings will be comforting if nothing else. My friends have been like a dose of meds just when I need them. From girly weekends, random fairground rides, booking spontaneous holidays and secret stories. I really am lucky to have such a good bunch of people around me. 

So what’s happening now. Well…my folks leave next week. Arghhhhh!!! Looking forward to getting my routine back and having some space but of course I’m going to miss them like crazy and don’t really want them to go. 

I am trying to get back on track with my gym stuff and get back on the health track. It’s happening albeit a bit slowly!! This weekend I’m meeting some local BBG girls for a group workout session in Cannon Hill Park. I’m really excited about it. I’ve never met any of them but they’ve been so supportive and have helped me get back on track with my exercise. I feel like I’ve known some of them forever!!

So that’s where I am. Trying. One day at a time. Slowly. Sometimes it’s just hard and I’m finding it hard right now. But I’ll keep going. I won’t give up x 

Hey…

I’m way behind on blog posts. I have all these things I want to write about but just haven’t had the time. This one will be brief, purely because I’m exhausted and need sleep ASAP!

So here it is. I’m feeling flat. Not all of the time. But most of the time. I’m forcing myself to stay perky and positive but to be honest if I didn’t have people around me who were concerned I don’t think I’d even bother getting out of bed!

I’ll go into details when I can be bothered to write a proper post. For now though all I can manage is a “Hey! Life is a bit shit right now”. Sorry! x 

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