Finding my way again

I’ve had a strange week with my fitness! I enjoyed my week off last week. I didn’t work out all that much, relaxed on the healthy eating and indulged in a few too many alcoholic beverages at the weekend. And I was all set to get stuck back into the healthy zone on Monday but it hasn’t quite gone to plan. Monday’s are always tough I know that but my Monday was an epic fail!! Got to work and lost all motivation by about 10am! I started snacking on bad food and the thought of going to my metafit class in the evening was not filling me with much excitement. I was so tired all day and all I wanted to do when I got home was crawl back into bed! When I got in from work that evening I collapsed on the couch and decided I wasn’t going to the gym. Too tired. Couldn’t be bothered. I’ll try tomorrow. But as I was changing out of my work clothes a few minutes later I thought to myself ‘No Shaena, you HAVE to go!’. I just knew that if I didn’t it would throw my whole week out of whack and then chances of me picking it up the next day would be slim. So I changed into my gym gear and off I went. Got to the gym and went to the studio we have the class in…..a few people were already waiting. Whilst chatting away to one of the others about potential classes I could try I suddenly realised that the instructor was nowhere to be seen and it was time for the class to start. It did not look promising! We waited a few more minutes and one of the girls went to check. No luck! ‘Scary Mary’ (the instructor) was on holiday and the replacement had not turned up! Great! To add to my annoyance my Sunday boot camp class was now also permanently cancelled due to lack of interest 😦 Now I could have just gone home but my mum was in the gym so as I had to wait for her anyway I thought I’d jump on the treadmill and run for a little bit. Ha! Got tired/bored…whatever you want to call it after 10 minutes. Jumped on the elliptical trainer… same again! Bored! It just wasn’t happening and to be honest I wasn’t at all bothered. So I gave up, went home and hoped that Tuesday would bring me more motivation.

Tuesday started a lot better. Work was good and I ate well. I went for a walk on my lunch break and I was all excited for running club. As per usual, by the time running club came around I had lost a little enthusiasm but I knew that once I got going it would all be good. Well so I thought. I don’t know what happened….was it the heat, my week off, just having an off day?? Who knows, but I just couldn’t run. My breathing was all over the place. I felt sick and dizzy. And about half way in my head started to pound. I did what I could but went home quite disappointed in myself. But I also decided I wasn’t going to be put off and the next morning I got up at 5.30am and went for a half hour run before work. It was the first time I’d gotten up so early to run and I have to admit I really enjoyed it. It was much cooler and it was a nice feeling being out and about that time in the morning when the roads were quiet and most people were still sleeping. It also set me up well for the rest of the day. I ate fairly good all day and I was energised and alert whilst in work. WIN! 🙂

So now its Thursday and although I’ve not done as much exercise as planned I have decided to take today off as I’ve got a run planned for the next 3 days. Just small ones but hopefully enough to get me back in my groove. I’m also going to sit down and work out a new running schedule and figure out what classes I need to be doing for the next few months. My 10k obstacle race is only 7 weeks away and I’m beginning to worry about my fitness or lack thereof! I know I can do the 10km distance but it’s not really about that. I need to be fit, strong and have the stamina to get myself round the course. I also have a couple of weddings coming up and I’m feeling a little…ummm…plump shall we say?! People keep telling me it’s all in my head…it probably is. But when you feel like that you don’t really want to listen to anyone else. So I really need to step it up again and get into a routine so I can feel good both physically and mentally.

Anyway I was messaging my friend Hollie this morning and its turns out she was going through a similar situation. Wanting to get back into ‘the zone’ but finding it hard. And we both have big ‘events’ on the horizon. Made me re-think my strategy of going hard for weeks at a time and then having a chill out and treat week. Is it worth it? I think not! It’s just way too hard to get back into at afterwards. Well it is for me anyway. So I’m going try a new way. Work hard but allow myself more rest days and not feel guilty about having little treats a few times a week. And me and Hollie are going to check in with each other every few days to make sure we are on track. I don’t have a training buddy so the next best thing is daily messaging with my friends who are good at keeping me motivated and focussed! Dan’s good like that too….he noticed the post run sweaty selfies had died down last week and messaged to check in and make sure everything was ok! They might be on the other side of the world but they’re still paying attention and keeping me on my toes! Haha!

So I’m off to relax now and enjoy my evening off….might even have a beer and sit outside on this gorgeous sunny evening. But tomorrow its up at 5.30am for a nice early morning run to give my Friday a good kick start! 🙂


An anniversary of sorts…

A year ago today I boarded a plane with the heaviest of hearts and said goodbye to the beautiful city of Perth that had been my home for 3 years and returned to the UK. I cried the entire 19 hour journey back and for many days and weeks after. Leaving my amazing friends, who had become my new family behind was quite possibly the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But it was something that had to be done and although I didn’t see it then, it was also the best thing I did.

To say it’s been a roller coaster of a year is quite the understatement. So much has happened….some really tough moments and some totally amazing ones. Not going to lie…my first few months at home were horrible. I hated it. I felt safe being back with my parents…but still hated it. Then India happened. Four and half months of reflecting, contemplating and most importantly healing. Magical! And then again, I came home but this time I decided things were going to be different. I made plans, I set goals and I started thinking about me. I introduced myself to exercise…haha! It was an on off relationship at first but I soon became committed and my life now weirdly revolves around my next gym class or running event. And just last week I got to tick my first official goal off my list. I ran my first ever 10k race and raised heaps of money for a mental health charity 🙂

I am in such a better place a year on. Happier, healthier and more myself then I’ve been in a long time. I have new people in my life, I’ve discovered new interests and I’ve found reasons to keep going and not give in when things get hard. I still have bad days and sad days. I still miss my life in Perth and the people that made it so great. But things are ok….in fact things are better then ok. Things are pretty damn good.

Perth…you will forever have a place in my heart. I look forward to the day we are reunited but until then I will carrying on living, loving and embracing my new life 🙂

British 10k….tick!

So I did it! I completed the British 10k race in London yesterday morning in 1 hour and 21 minutes. Which for me and my beginner legs is pretty damn good I think!

It was a fab day and I’ve had a lovely weekend staying with my sisters friend, Helen and her family. Helen joined me for the run and we are already planning our next 10k event!

I’d done the distance before but not having done the route and struggling the last few weeks with my training I was still pretty nervous. When I first signed up for it I told myself I just wanted to complete it….timing didn’t matter and even if I had to walk a bit it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But the closer it got the more I wanted to be able to run it all and get a half decent time….well, for a newbie.

So after a fairly early start we headed into London yesterday morning and I was pretty relaxed until we found ourselves packed into the 20,000 crowd of runners waiting for the race to start. It was a strange feeling. Excitement, nerves and a sense of pride all at the same time. Helen reminded me of where I was this time last year and how far I’d come since and I found myself having a little sob just thinking about it all.

It was a bit of a slow start with so many people taking part. Took us 15 minutes just to get over the starting line but once we did my legs switched into running mode and I was off. I’m not going to lie the idea of having a little walk crossed my mind so many times after the 3km mark but somehow I found myself just carrying on. The crowds and entertainment made for a great atmosphere along the way which really helped. My parents had come down and seeing them at the 8km marker cheering me on really helped me and my tired legs get to the end. I was so exhausted at this point but I was determined not to give up and walk so I kept pushing and after a torturous stretch along Victoria St we turned a few corners and suddenly I could see the finish line. And of course I found that little burst of energy that I’d saved to help me sprint to the end and all of a sudden it was all over!! I’d done it! 🙂

I honestly don’t think I’ve been more proud myself. To go from not being able to run at all to completing a 10km race in only 3 and a half months. Sorry but…yay me!! Haha! So what’s next….got a few more events this year including that ridiculous obstacle race. And I will continue to do a few more 10k races but next year I definitely want to up the game. Soooo….bring on the Great North Run!! 🙂 🙂

0k to 10k…..and beyond??

One more week!!! Ahhhh…..what the f****ck!!! This time next week I will have completed my 10k run and hopefully be sat in a beer garden somewhere, soaking up the sun and sinking some well earned drinks! The last few days I’ve been a mixed bag of emotions…..scared, nervous and excited all at the same time. Can’t believe I’ve another week to get through yet!! Training this last week hasn’t been great. I’ve found it quite tough even just doing 5k runs. Don’t know if this hot weather we’ve been having or whether I’m just a little more tired then normal. I have been working this last week (yay…finally) so it might have something to do with it. Either way, I’ve struggled and it’s gotten me a little worried about next Sunday. But I’ve continued to plod on….quite literally! Went for a nice hilly 6k run yesterday with my friend Kass. I love running with Kass. Our running ability is pretty similar and we spur each other on. Also gives us chance to have a nice gossip as we make our way round 😉

So anyway I’m hoping that the struggle is just a little phase and the adrenalin will kick in come Sunday and I will look back and wonder what the hell I was even worrying about! I also need to remind myself constantly that back in April I could barely run a kilometre so knowing that I can do 10k, no matter how slow is a massive achievement in such a short space of time. I was chatting with my friend Dan via text message today. He completed the Gold Coast Marathon over in Australia this morning. He is a total legend! Dan was one of my closest friends back in Perth and although we hit a crappy patch in our friendship when I was going through my dark phase we’ve thankfully come through it and are still in touch now. Anyway Dan started running before we met but I’m pretty sure he started out like me…..a non runner! He’s a great motivator even though he’s so far away. Asking how my running is going, encouraging me when I don’t feel like I’m doing so well and generally just being a pretty awesome friend! Our current thing is swapping post-run sweaty selfies hahaha….we love it!! 🙂 To see him achieve what he did today is beyond amazing and I’m so proud of him!! It’s inspiring to see how far he has come in only a few years and he often makes me think that anything is possible!

Once again I don’t really know where this is going. I guess just that I’m grateful for supportive friends, I’m proud of how far I’ve come and what I’ve achieved so far and that I hope to keep going and do bigger and better!! But for now….roll on Sunday!! 🙂

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